I have some hot mama friends. No kidding. I mean, all of my friends are beautiful, some just know how to pull themselves together despite the constant loving tugs (notice how I didn’t say “demands”?) of motherhood.
My newest girlfriend Holly is a tall, smoking hot blonde who does a full face of makeup everyday. The reason I admire her is because she knows what she needs to do in order to feel like a woman and does it. She doesn’t look overdone, she looks like her gorgeous self. My other bff, Emily, has the most polished look everytime I see her. She was blessed with one of the best combos around: dark hair and blue eyes and works it.
I think we owe it to ourselves as women to take care of the outer as well as the inner. It’s possible to be a good person responsible citizen and yummy mummy.
Last weekend I went to my favorite boutiques, Oasis Child in Laguna Beach. I treated myself to a delicious, warm, long sleeved sweater by OmGirl that doubles as a sweater dress when paired with knee-high boots. I wore it as such to a wine tasting last night and felt amazing. When I got home I was so comfortable in the outfit that I just pulled off my boots, put on a nice big pair of comfy socks and finished the night cuddling with my hubby while watching Grey’s Anatomy.
OmGirl is yoga-inspired line by southern California mom, Meghan Fielding. The line blends “urban chic and West Coast sensibility.” Everything is comfortable, beautiful, and perfect for the mom who wants to look and feel good.
Let’s face it. Changing diapers and running errands is just easier when you feel like a million bucks.
xox SATS
It’s 6 AM. You and your husband find yourselves in that magical moment in time when you’re both feeling up for a little something special. Ten minues into the rev up…you hear it…
“Mama!” The tired cry of a child.
Do you:
A: Ignore the calls of your little libido killer
or
B: Throw on a robe faster than your husband can say “nipple confusion” and make your baby a nice sippy cup of milk
Send your answers to onecrazymother@gmail.com
I’ll post the best ones
I’ve heard that some people schedule sex. I’ve also heard that some people wash their walls. I’m not sure what freaks me out more.
Maybe it’s because I consider what goes in my momAgenda “obligations,” but writing “get down and dirty with my spouse, Oct 23rd” in my planner just freaks me out. Sex should be a priority in every marriage because it’s an important mode of communication (and fun). I know some women out there show how important it is by planning it and while I’m positive that their better halves appreciate knowing that it’s a FOR SURE, but I can’t just can’t get on that train.Doesn’t having sex on the first and third Wednesday of every leap year take away some of the nice surprise? If you’re having trouble getting into a regular sexy time way of life, consider this instead of a schedule: why not just assume you’re goign to have sex everyday and let the off days be the “surprise.” It sounds silly, but I try to remain in available mode as often as humanly possible (showered, feeling good about myself, not overwhelmed) most days so that sex is even possible.
And if alcohol helps you get there, so be it. It’s not a dry spell if it’s been 2 months. That’s a marriage in crisis.
Plan if you must, I’ll think you’re weird but at least you’re hitting the sheets. If you’re planning averse like I am, consider making your lifestyle sexual in the way that you take care of yourself enough to even consider taking off your clothes for something other than a shower.
Until next time…keep it sexy,
SATS
It’s hard enough for moms to feel like jumping out of their jeans. Don’t let these three libido killers ruin what could be a very naughty evening.
1. Watching Law & Order Special Victim’s Unit before bed.
Hearing a heart wrenching story about a five-year old’s brutal demise is not going to help you feel all tingly “down there.” Plus, 99% of the perps (yes, I said perps) are men and I don’t know about you, but I always dislike my husband a little bit for no reason at all when the show is over. Don’t even watch the first 2 minutes to see where they discover the body, change the channel or go straight to bed.
2. Skipping your AM shower
Ok. No one wants to take it all off when they smell like a cross between Cheetos and Similac. Take a shower in the morning because you’re not going to get to it later.
3. Kids. Too late! Just kidding.
3. Snacks. Think before you sip, or eat. Not only will this tip help you shed pounds, it will also help with your dry spell. Eating a large piece of chocolate cake before bed will not make you feel sexy. Not feeling sexy will prevent you from having sex. Therefore, skipping the 540 calorie post-bed snack is a good thing. You’ll get into your jeans AND out of them much easier (ha!) Watch what you sip too. One glass of wine will loosen you up, two will make you silly, three and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……..
Have a fun Friday night!
xoxo SATS
Going from mom to responsive sexual partner isn’t a 10 second ordeal. For women, the brain is the biggest sexual organ meaning we have to plan and put significant effort into being sexual available. After the kids get into grandma’s car or go to sleep, here are five easy ways to transition into someone your husband isn’t afraid might bite his head off should he get any ideas.
5. Take a shower with a special body wash. The scent will melt away the day’s stresses
4. Change your clothes. Slip into something other than a huge t-shirt or sweatpants.
3. Touch up your makeup. This sounds crazy, right? Who puts makeup on at night? Looking into the mirror and seeming a ragamuffin does not make you feel hot. This isn’t for your husband, it’s for you. A little eyeliner and lip gloss works wonders.
2. Light a candle…or two. Candlelight is almost magical in it’s effect to transform a room full of unfolded laundry into a love den
1. About that laundry…put it in the living room. It’s hard to feel relaxed in a pigsty. Make sure your bedroom is a clean, relaxing environment. That means no bills, newspapers, or clutter!
Good luck 
I often say that staying in the “Sex and the Sippy” mindset is not an 8pm-10pm operation. Have you heard the phrase, “foreplay starts in morning?” In order to feel like sexy time is at all an option after chasing kids and doing endless loads of laundry you’re going to have to put some effort in mammas.
One thing I love to do is send my husband romantic e-cards. What better way to make sure that I’m constantly on his mind? He knows you’re his wife, why not be his girlfriend sometimes? When the flirting stays in tact, sex lives stay protected and fresh.
This is the website I use: http://www.naughtycards.com/home.aspx
Some of them are edgier than others, choose wisely. Some workplaces have monitoring software and *gasp* don’t send anything that he’d have to explain if a co-worker saw his screen. Think cute, romantic, and playful.
One of the reasons Sex and the Sippy exists is because there are way too many people not having sex who should be. There are organizations and religious groups everywhere trying to stop teens from having sex because we know how emotionally and physically disastrous for teens to get down, but what about moms and dads who are practicing unnecessary abstinence?
With the divorce rates as high as they are, regular nookie is more important than ever. Mom, if you still think cleaning the kitchen is more important than hitting the sheets, here are some sad stats from Dr. Phil.com
Sad Stats
Married couples say they have sex an average of 68.5 times a year. That’s slightly more than once a week. — Newsweek
Married people have 6.9 more sexual encounters per year than people who have never been married. — Newsweek
15 to 20 percent of couples have sex no more than 10 times a year, which experts define as a sexless marriage. — Newsweek
20 to 30 percent of men and 30 to 50 percent of women say they have little or no sex drive. — USA Today
25 percent of all Americans (a third of women and a fifth of men) suffer from a condition known as hypoactive sexual desire (HSD), which is defined as a persistent or recurring deficiency or absence of sexual fantasies or thoughts, or a lack of interest in sex or being sexual. — Psychology Today
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/372
You’ve seen the new KY commercials, right? The new yours+mine lube makes some hefty promises. Looks like lube to me, but then again, I haven’t tried it. This review on Associated Content is supposed to be shining, but it still didn’t make me want to go out and break a $20.
Feel like trying it? Get a coupon
Today Sex and the Sippy spoke with Miyoko Fujimori, the author of The Housewife’s Guide to Practical Striptease. When this mom of two isn’t appearing on the Dish Network/Oxygen six nights a week or showing Denise Richards some pole moves on E!’s It’s Complicated, she’s helping moms everywhere remember that they’re more than just spit up wipers, chauffeurs, and playground referees.
“The Housewife’s Guide to Practical Striptease isn’t about nudity or writhing around, it’s about communicating and connecting…helping women jump back on the monkey bars.” -Miyoko
If you haven’t read The Housewife’s Guide to Practical Striptease go out and get it. Today. Right now. Seriously. This easy-read shows that striptease for the everyday mom isn’t about expensive outfits or being someone you’re not, it’s about remembering that moms are women too and being comfortable with one’s femininity. Motherhood has a way of banishing the “sexy” out of moms. Miyoko explains, in words and terms that anyone can understand, that learning a sexy dance for your husband is something fun, special and totally doable.
Keeping your sensuality in tact isn’t something that you work on from 8-10pm. Miyoko explained how moms can make keeping their feminine side in tact a daily mission.
“Even when you’re just walking around…throw your shoulders back, instead of caving in, push your breasts out and stride…When you’re stressed out, instead of reaching for that cookie to make you feel better, brush your hand against your thigh and up your hair, remind yourself that you’re beautiful and loved.”
Feeling like a ragged mom with no time for yourself can be a thing of the past. Miyoko, who is also the Creative Director of Party Gals, has created a resource that even the shyest mom can pull easy ways to end any dry streaks and bring new life to your marriage.
Visit Practical Striptease.com
Last week I found myself cleaning poop off of the floor. We’re in the home stretch of potty training and sometimes things get messy. It’s days like these that make feeling like a hot mom an uphill battle. Even after showering and changing out of my battle clothes, it’s hard not to feel like Raggedy Ann.
I remind myself that I’m not a human wastebasket by keeping my stock of “something more comfortable” current.
It’s time to update the sexy drawer! When shopping you don’t have to go for the porn star look (unless you’re into that, no judging). I’ll show you how to go from Unmanageable to Totally Mom-Able.
Unmanageable: Fredericks of Hollywood Cami and Tap Pant Set ($9.99)
There are a lot of problems with this look. First of all, if the shorts don’t fit a model well, they’ll do even less for a normal woman. Second, that top is not only dry clean only (who needs another errand and do you really want to be seen dropping that off?), it’s going to look like a kite after two months. Third, let’s be kind to mommies who are still working off their pregnancy tummies. This is just not nice.
Totally Mom-Able: Fredericks of Hollywood Georgette Babydoll ($9.99)
How cute is this babydoll? It’s polyester and nylon so you can wash it yourself in a just a few minutes. Don’t hang on the line to dry unless you want your neighbors talking. The color pictures is under $10. The cut is so flattering to moms: flaunts what the baby gave us up top and hides what the baby gave us around the middle. Super cute!
