Look around your bedroom right now. What do you see? C’mon be honest.

Are there sippy cups and wine glasses on your bedside tables? Clean and dirty clothes piled up in the hamper (and on the floor). A couple of Oprah’s literary recommendations lying around? What else? Shopping bags? Receipts (throw those away before the husband sees them)? DVDs? A stiletto and Ugg wasteland?

Now answer this question: who would want to give it up in an environment like that? You may as well be trying to make love in an outlet mall the day after Thanksgiving. It’s too much.  Just like on a Hollywood set, the mood, the feel of the space where the magic is supposed to happens is everything.

Mom. It’s time to get a box of Kleenex, a humongous trash bag and get rid of the stuff your “baby” can’t wear anymore. Despite what you may have seen in the wrong parts of LA, it’s not acceptable for a toddler to wear a onesie like a t-shirt with the little tails that can’t snap anymore flapping in the wind. We’re going to judge you.

I stumbled upon a site yesterday that will have your house de-cluttered and orgasms back before you can say “controlled burn” (which by the way is NOT  good way to get rid of excess goods).

www.handmedowns.com

After all is said and done, I’m all about supporting moms. This website allows moms to save some cash by buying and selling gently used clothes, toys, and strollers. It’s like our own Craigslist without the whole creepy casual encounters/fetish section. I mean, I’m a longtime fan of Craigslist but wouldn’t shop at a Babies ‘R Us that shared retail space with a topless bar. Nothing against breasts. I just don’t think the words “high chair” and “anal beads” should be on the same website.

Back to HandmeDowns.com. Instead of throwing away your baby clothes and letting that Maclaren waste away in your garage, let some local mom take them off of your hands. You’re dressing another baby and creating new space in your home! Tip: If you don’t have time to list clothes individually, sell them in a bundle called a “lot.” Spend the cash you make on candles and massage oil.

One of my favorite parts of the website is that they work with charities like Baby2Baby so that you can donate your goods directly to moms & dads who need a helping hand.

Another one of my favorite parts is that registration takes about 5.7 seconds. Bonus!

Bottom line: save the environment by letting members of your community reuse your stuff, make some money, support a charity, and have more sex.

xox SATS

Sell her stuff. It’s stressing you out.

A reader letter today…

“Dear Sex & The Sippy,

I’m a working mother who is solely responsible for the running the entire household. When I’m not cooking, I’m cleaning, when I’m not cleaning I’m working, when I’m not working I’m playing with the kids or helping them with homework, bathtime…it never ends! Sex is the last thing on my mind. I’m just either too busy or tired. What should I do?

Jaqueline in Malibu, CA”

Dear Jaqueline,

I’m going to share a secret with you. I hate vegetables. Yeah. Much like a 3-year old, the only way I’ll eat green things is if they’re a) deep friend or b) covered in ranch and cheese. When I go to restaurants I force myself to eat them to look grown-up and because they’re good for me but all I’m thinking about is the double chocolate hot fudge brownie dessert with white chocolate ganache and caramel sauce.

Work and cleaning are the vegetables. Sex is the chocolate. Why are you cheating yourself out of the best part of life? Let the house go a bit if you must but do not live a life without dessert. You’ll die young and your husband will remarry someone willing to put out.

xox SATS

Sex and the Sippy is proud to announce that she is with child! Now. I have to get something off of my chest (while it still looks cute, I’m about to breastfeed kid #2).

Pregnancy is no excuse for a lack of sex. The minute I got pregnant I thought, “Oh hey! So his thing DOES work. Guess we’re done with that.” How bad!

The awesome thing about pregnant sex is that there is no need to think about sponges, cups, rubbers, and pills. The soldiers have already planted their flag and all that is left to do is have fun while you don’t feel like a manitee.

Disclaimer: Moms with morning sickness are of course, excused and their husbands are to wait on them hand and foot.

Bonus Disclaimer: All pregnant women should be waited on hand and foot. Where’s my quesadilla?

xo SATS

Pregnancy is a funny thing. Some women LOVE to have sex when they’ve got a bun in the oven, some don’t. Frankly, up until 8 months-ish, I don’t see what the problem is. I know many men feel like they’re poking their fetus in the eye, but we women should know better than that.

I think it has to do with feeling hormonal, crazy, fat & constantly hungry. Oh and then there’s the heartburn, waddling, and fatness (did I say fat?).

Pregnant women, there’s no reason why you can’t keep your sexiness during pregnancy. You’re glowing (and sweating), use it.

My friend Tamara created a line that I think will get pregnant women back beneath the sheets doing what got them knocked up in the first place. Everyone knows I always say that sex for a woman begins with a shower. We all need to feel good & pretty before naughtiness takes place. It’s part of being a girl. This applies to our pregnant mommies too.

Tamara created The Spoiled Mama, a line of lotions, potions, and delicious body products that will make any mama, especially the pregnant ones, feel gorgeous.

She sent me the items from the pregnancy collection and I ADORE them.

The Sugar Scrub is amazing. It smells delicious, is made with all natural products, and will have any with-child woman sighing with happiness. If every pregnant woman started off the day with a The Spoiled Mama Sugar Scrub shower there would be no war. I’m not sure why, but there just wouldn’t.

The Tummy Butter is so thick and luxurious, not at all greasy. I’ve been using it on my spoiled toddler after her bath. Just one of the many ways I say “I love you” to my diva of a 2-year old.

The Extreme Mama Cream is a must for every mom- not just the pregnant ones. You know how often we wash our hands. Give ‘em some love. The Bump Gloss Stretch Mark oil gets two manicured thumbs up for being yummy smelling and feeling SO good on the skin.

Thank you Tamara for creating such an amazing line for moms! Only another mom could have done it. I’m meeting up with Tam (that’s my nickname because we’re so close now. bonded over my love of things that pamper me…) in San Francisco in a couple of weeks. I’ll report back with what she’s working on next!

xo SATS

PS. She has boxed set specials starting at $24 bucks so there is no reason why you can’t do something tres special for yourself. After all the poop wiping, kid chasing, meal fixing, food barfing (morning sickness, anyone?) you deserve it. High five.

I have some hot mama friends. No kidding. I mean, all of my friends are beautiful, some just know how to pull themselves together despite the constant loving tugs (notice how I didn’t say “demands”?) of motherhood.

My newest girlfriend Holly is a tall, smoking hot blonde who does a full face of makeup everyday. The reason I admire her is because she knows what she needs to do in order to feel like a woman and does it. She doesn’t look overdone, she looks like her gorgeous self. My other bff, Emily, has the most polished look everytime I see her. She was blessed with one of the best combos around: dark hair and blue eyes and works it.

I think we owe it to ourselves as women to take care of the outer as well as the inner. It’s possible to be a good person responsible citizen and yummy mummy.

Last weekend I went to my favorite boutiques, Oasis Child in Laguna Beach. I treated myself to a delicious, warm, long sleeved sweater by OmGirl that doubles as a sweater dress when paired with knee-high boots. I wore it as such to a wine tasting last night and felt amazing. When I got home I was so comfortable in the outfit that I just pulled off my boots, put on a nice big pair of comfy socks and finished the night cuddling with my hubby while watching Grey’s Anatomy.

OmGirl is yoga-inspired line by southern California mom, Meghan Fielding. The line blends “urban chic and West Coast sensibility.” Everything is comfortable, beautiful, and perfect for the mom who wants to look and feel good.

Let’s face it. Changing diapers and running errands is just easier when you feel like a million bucks.

xox SATS